Happy Halloween! And General Updates!

Happy Halloween!

So wow, it's really been yet another 2 years since my last post. Where does the time go? It's truly been a whirlwind of events and sometimes, I really can't believe how many years have gone by. Sign of old age, I know.

I've graduated from residency and am now a full fledged board certified pediatrician in a private clinic in the city that primarily takes care of a lot of the underserved population. It can be pretty hectic at times since we accept same day walk ins, but so far, I've been adapting to the new schedule. It's wayyy better than residency hours, for sure. Been quite a long road to get to this point and I'm so grateful I've made it to this stage of my life with all the support of my family and friends.

I got engaged on New Year's Eve 2016 and we got married recently this May! The weather forecast had been threatening rain storms up until the very night before, but we lucked out with cloudy but relatively dry weather. It was an incredible day spent with our loved ones and it feels like it was just yesterday ... perhaps because I'm still in the process of finalizing photos for the albums.

We had an awesome honeymoon in Japan (hitting up Tokyo, Kyoto and Okinawa), ate a whole lot, flew back to reality and we moved into our new house. Attended some of our friends' weddings in the following months. We've since also flew back to Asia and visited Taiwan and Korea for yet another friend's wedding. (It's a big year for getting married!)

Now that we have finally settled back into somewhat of daily routine life, my mind has been turning toward writing again. It's something I can't believe I've had the stamina to power through during my younger years and would love to work on again. Been reading more for pleasure since residency has ended and I remember my adoration for a well written tale of great characters and worlds. (Speaking of worlds, the husband took me to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child for my birthday and it was incredible. J.K. Rowling has truly created an endless realm of stories and I can't wait for the new Fantastic Beasts movie to come out!)

So I'm considering giving Nanowrimo a go and perhaps posting fiction online again to keep me on track. Have you guys moved onto any writing platforms besides fictionpress? Let me know how things have fared for you guys in the past few years. Hope life has been treating you all well!

... Residency

So the last time I updated this blog was when I matched into my residency program.

Annnnd now, I'm in my final year of residency.

So, as per norm for my usual updating speed. 

Haha. Sorry. Residency is indeed a time suck. It's hard to believe I'm the senior on the floors, let alone I'll soon be graduating and going off into the real world as a "real" pediatrician (who still needs to pass the boards - I've signed up for a lifetime of exams apparently). Where exactly has the time gone?

It's been long hours and a lot of work, but there have been some great times in the past 2 years: I've managed to squeeze in two cruise vacations to Bahamas and Bermuda, went to Disney World and Wizarding World of Harry Potter!, hung out with friends, family and the boyfriend, was the maid of honor for my cousin (said cousin had a baby who just turned 1!), tried Paint Nite, escaped two Escape the Room games, explored the city, studied some, worked a ton, but overall, not a whole lot of change. Still the same dorky self (my newest app is Pokemon Go - Team Mystic!).

What I haven't been able to do unfortunately is any real writing. :( Can't quite get past that rut beyond a few pages of a new story before scrapping it and restarting. Argh. 

But anyway, I hope any readers who still checks in on this blog are doing great! I haven't checked fictionpress in forever, but I hope there have been nice updates to the site and excellent stories published. 

Past two years' travel highlights:

Crystal Caves, Bermuda

Unfinished Church, St. George, Bermuda

Match Day

So how does getting into a residency program work? For U.S. medical students, graduating from medical school is the first step. Residency program is where we complete our training, where we're no longer babied, and we have to work through sweat, tears, and blood, all that grueling stuff that shape us into doctors who can finally be sent out into the public to practice alone, safely and responsibly.

For most fourth year medical students, the big day is Match Day. It's the culmination of all your years of work and the past few months of applications, waiting for interview invitations, deciding which interviews to accept and which pre-interview social you'd attend, traveling for the actual interviews, hospital tours, meals with the residents, and struggling to come up with as many responses to "Do you have any questions for us?"

After all the interviews, we struggle to form our rank list in the order of which hospital program you'd like to work for more and the programs formulate their own rank list of all the candidates they've interviewed. A giant computer at NRMP takes in our rank lists, does its magic, and we all wait for Match Day, the day when we find out which residency program you're going to spend your lives at for the next x number of years.

So Match Day this year was officially March 21st. Some students applying for more competitive fields like dermatology care more about March 17th though, the Monday of that week when everyone gets a generic email informing them whether or not they matched. My classmate - a derm applicant - specifically took Monday off from our rotation while I covered for her because she didn't want to be working if she found out she didn't match (she did! Matched back to our home school program!). And you find out through the grapevine which of your classmates who sadly did not match.

Since I'm going into pediatrics, a less competitive field, Monday was not a super huge concern for me. I still had butterflies just in case I'm actually an extremely unlikable person and all my programs hated me on sight, but fortunately, all went well. On Monday at noon, I checked my email from NRMP with that suspenseful subject title "Did I Match?" And it was a very brief email with the most important words Congratulations!  You have matched! bolded. So YAY!

And then we had to wait another four days for Match Day on Friday to find out where we're matched to. Except for this dumb NRMP computer glitch this year that actually allowed some resourceful candidates to be able to check their match results earlier - a seriously dumb glitch involving a simple right click, view source code - but since I didn't find out about the glitch until NRMP fixed it and it was too late to check, this is all moot point to me.

But I have to say, not finding out earlier and being able to have anticipation build til Friday ... it was worth it in the end for me. Because there's nothing quite like that atmosphere of being in an auditorium with all your classmates and friends, that heady rush of excitement and nerves as you get up to collect your own sealed envelope, the countdown to noon when everyone, all at once, cracks open their letter and finds out where they're heading off to.

I, myself, took a few seconds to really absorb the words. My name ... my medical school name ... Congratulations, you have matched! ...

And then I saw the name of my first choice listed.

I think I must have let out some incomprehensible sound, like a whuh, covered my mouth and turned to my friend. She was shaking her head and just thrust her paper out to me. I shoved mine at her. We both got into our first choices.

There's a breath of silence and then screams of joy overfill the auditorium. Everyone gets out of their seats and starts running around, finding their friends, and grabbing each other in tight hugs. Some are crying, some are laughing, others are in shocked silence. Cameras flash and a school photographer follows people around, picking out the happy faces. A lot of people are bouncing around, especially my fellow pediatrics applicants - we're naturally bubbly people?

There is nothing quite like that roller coaster of emotions.

And then, of course, everything turns a bit anti-climatic in the aftermath. Your program emails you a welcome email and then starts cracking down with multiple HR forms, NPI request, resident work hour attestation, sleep deprivation attestation, etc. ("We own you now. Please sign your life over ASAP.") But yay, I don't care, I'm still living in my fourth year medical student bubble! I'm still excited over signing all your scary forms! Real job confirmed!

Bleeding Love Dance

Been busy and totally neglected this blog again. Was on the interview trail and am finishing up some fourth year required electives. So this is a post to declare I'm still alive! Also, those of you still plagiarizing my stories - c'mon, do we really have to do this again? Also, since some readers have informed me fictionpress finally got off its butt and disabled the whole copy+paste function ... how? Why? It takes pathetic to a whole new insanity level if a plagiarist is resorting to figuring out how to get past the c+p thing in order to copy a story to put up on another site.

I love songs, dances, musicals, things that are able to effectively tell a story so if it's accomplished in a visually captivating way, thumbs up! I like this:

Whipple

Thanks for the support and response to my prior post, everyone! The plagiarist has been removed from Amazon and hopefully, this won't happen again. I'm revising False Facades so maybe, you'll be able to see the new version up on Amazon soon. Stay tuned, please.

In the meantime, I'm also in the midst of interview season for residency programs! Exciting and scary. I've finally decided to go into pediatrics after confirming my interest during my pediatrics sub-i. I got Step 2 CK done a while back, but I still have Step 2 CS to go in December. Smart me, planned it so that I would be cramming in between traveling around to programs. What was I thinking? Hopefully, everything continues to go smoothly into the new year.

So ... since I haven't posted in a while, I thought I should write up something about one of the experiences I had during clerkships. It's funny how things feel like it happened so long ago now when it's only been months, but at the same time, you look back at the year as a whole and feel like third year really went by in a blink. Everything was measured in blocks of time between shelf exams and you were constantly in motion, preparing for the next exam and the next. But sometimes, there are these moments that are especially memorable - whether it's in a good way or bad - that you continue to carry on as something you can look back on ... fondly?

The longest day I had during clerkship rotations was in surgery (of course) when I scrubbed in on a Whipple procedure immediately after rounds. During pre-op, the resident suggested, "Be sure to grab something to eat. This is going to take a while."

I had looked up Whipple procedure before so that I would be somewhat prepared to answer any pimping questions from the attending (you are never really prepared) and I had expected that it would be a long operation, likely lasting more than 6 hours. But to double check, I asked, "Around how long?"

The resident just gave me this faint noncommittal expression. "A while."

"Oh." I hesitated. "That's okay. I just had a cereal bar."

So much regret.

I started in the OR at 8am, watching the nurses and anesthesiologists prepare the patient. As the patient drifted away on propofol, I got the nod from the resident to go scrub and get gowned. By 9am, we were all gathered around the sterile field and the attending made the first incision.

Noon came along and drifted away. Still hadn't removed gallbladder yet.

2pm ... attending and resident still working. They didn't even need me to help suction and retract since the field was so small, I needed a stepstool to get a good peek. 3pm. Scrub nurse, pitying me, asked if I wanted to take a break. I glanced over at my resident and attending; they were so focused with laser intensity on the patient, I hadn't been acknowledged since pre-op. I wondered if they were even aware I was still there or was I just a blob at the periphery of their vision? But if attending and resident haven't taken a break yet, I wasn't going to so I shook my head, shifted my feet and continued to pretend I had thighs of steel, legs of titanium. Nurse crowed really loudly, "What a trooper! Gonna stick it out for the long haul, huh?" Attending's eyes barely flickered over to me.

Scrub nurses switched four times for breaks. Anesthesiologists changed shifts, one teasing me, "This is why anesthesiology is better than surgery." I continued to stand there, trying not to lean on patient's leg too much, hoping I get to do something, anything, or maybe the attending and resident can mention something educational to me or at the very least, mutter out loud exactly what they were probing at now. Even if it was to pimp me. Pimp me! Pimp me! Let me do something!

5:30pm. Attending and resident continued to go at it. Attending's surgical headlights set had long ran out of its charge, and had to be plugged in to an outlet. I jumped for any chance to irrigate, which essentially meant I squirted water wherever they wanted me to. New scrub nurse stared at me with more pity. My mask slipped down and I tried to shove it up with the back of my gowned arm and all the nurses jumped on me, "Oh, contamination! You should scrub out and ... maybe scrub back in later ... if you need to?" We all slipped the attending and resident inquiring looks. They didn't say anything.

Taking that to mean that I had to come back, I sidled to the door and hurried to the locker room where I crumpled into a chair and crammed another cereal bar down. Returned to the OR, scrubbed back in. Attending and resident barely glanced at me. Scrub nurse tapped my gloved hand and surreptitiously murmured, "You got food?"

I nodded, and she answered, "Good. Got to eat. Don't want you getting hypoglycemic."

By 7:30pm, the attending finally announced, "I need to pee."

Resident agreed, "Me, too."

While the attending went out to take his turn first, I asked resident, "Um, how long do you think until we close up? ... because someone is kinda going to pick me up ..."

"Oh, you could have gone home whenever you wanted," the resident answered.

I stared at him. Was this a trick question? Because I was ready to go hours ago. Why didn't you send me home then if I could have gone home at any time? Or is this reverse psychology? Do I need to continue to prove my dedication by clinging on til the very end? Tell me what to do.

The resident continued, "If your pick up is here already, you can go."

"Oh, he's coming," I said quickly. "He's here." He can be here. Right now. I will teleport myself into any moving vehicle heading home.

The nurse ripped off the ties to the back of my gown before anyone can say anything else and excused me quickly, "Go home then! Eat! Go! Sleep!"

"Oh ... okay ... thank you!" I announced to the general room with special gratitude to the nurses, gave a pathetic wave, and scurried out.

The next morning, I found out the case ended past midnight. Hardcore.

Plagiarism on Amazon

Honestly, I'm still a little stunned so this might not be the most eloquent post.

I've been plagiarized quite a few times. A lot. Enough to be jaded by the whole ordeal of checking out links, sending emails, contacting administration. Since the last time I posted about this, I've been informed of a few more attempts that I haven't even bothered to mention here on this blog. I was just sick and tired of the same old thing, rinse and repeat, losers who have no lives.

But this is the first time that I'm aware of someone having the actual audacity to publish and sell both False Facades and Through Me on Amazon, here: False Facades and here: Through Me. And while she's at it, this "Martha Greenwood" decided to steal reviews from readers too, slapping up comments I've cherished in the clumsy blurbs. And to complete things, plagiarize a bunch of other people's stories as well, listed in this post: Martha Greenwood on Amazon - fpwatchers.

I've always had this niggling worry that one day, this would happen. And it finally did.

There's this uncomfortable tightness in my chest. It's a mixture of frustration, heartbreak and this sick feeling of ... what else can I possibly do? I've tried taking FF down, plagiarism still cropped up, I put it back up and left my stories up for years, finishing TM, and it continues. All I can comfort myself with is the fact that at least, the stories are up to prove my copyright and that there are readers who still look out for me, exposing these plagiarists.

Thank you, fellintothemoon, for letting me know. Thank you so much.

And sadly, for now, I have an exam to get back to studying for. I have no time and zero tolerance for this crap. Martha Greenwood, you are one sad person.

Face Full of Blood

Hello, hello! Super long time since I updated again, I know. I've been really awful about blogging because I've been on my surgery rotation. And no offense to surgeons, but I'm so not attracted to a surgeon's life. Super early mornings, long hours on your feet, meal breaks equivalent to quickstuffyourfacewithanythingnow, daily wound dressing changes, and when you're not spending long hours in the OR, there will still be long hours in clinic awaiting you. But fortunately, this lifestyle does appeal to certain folks (who are not me) and the world will hopefully always have some excellent, smart, hard-working surgeons (who are not me). I know this to be true because I know about five people, all quite sane and nice human beings, who will be/or is considering going into surgery.

So, for those of you interested in medical school ramblings ... for surgery, resident rounds start around 6-6:30am so for pre-rounds, we should check in even earlier. With long days when I generally leave past 6, I can go for days without seeing daylight because the sun will dawn while I'm in the hospital and set before I leave. Bright side of this? Vampires, too, can be surgeons.

Oh, you want a legit positive? When I drive in super early, it's quite nice because no one is up at 5am and you can go zoom zoom. And have your pick of parking spaces in the lot. Also, everyone can roll out of bed at 4:30am and wear whatever to the hospital because we're going to have to change into scrubs anyway. But after being on obgyn and surgery service back to back ... I missed nice clothes.

For rounds, medical students are generally responsible for carrying a bucket or stuffing their white coat pockets with sterile gauzes, kerlix, saline flushes, and tape. Lots of tape. We then flock after the team up and down stairs to the various patients, presenting the overnight information regarding patients we're following, changing the various patients' dressings and checking their drains. There were a lot of amputation wounds. Many legs to prop up, many oozing wounds to rewrap.

Speaking of amputations, I was scrubbed in to assist the vascular surgeon and resident on a BKA revision (the man is a diabetic whose foot got really infected so he had a guillotine ankle amputation in order to let the wound drain first to make sure the infection gets all taken care of before going back into the OR at a later date for a below the knee stump revision).

During the surgery, the attending hacked away at all the necrotic tissue, trying to roll up the flap into a nice looking stump. Really inappropriate, but it was close to lunch and for a while there, the stump looked like an empanada. A really thick, unwieldy empanada that refused to be wrapped up neatly. Cursing like a rap song, the attending muttered, "Oh, f***, man, this guy's a f****** squirter."

The next I knew, a jet of crimson spurted through the air and caught me right in the face. The attending jerked back, blood just barely grazing the bottom of his mask.

Likely because I was so tired, I just blinked. We all had masks with eye-guards so it wasn't as if the blood had made skin contact ... I hoped. No biggie, so what if there's this ketchupy blob across my vision, I can just peer around it -

The resident on the other side of the table stared at me as he ventured, "Um, maybe she should scrub out ..."

The attending turned his head to me, bovie in hand. "Yes," he decided. "Scrub out and come back."

"Uh ... okay." I turned away from the table and all three nurses in the corner went, "Whoa."

What? What? Did the blood actually manage to sneak past the eye guard? I just pictured a constellation of red on my forehead, forming a neon sign: SOAP PLZ.

One of them rushed forward as I stripped off my gloves, examining my mask closely. "It's okay. It's okay. Nothing got on your skin."

Another nurse laughed as he helped untie the back of my gown, "See now? This is why I said that you should go into dermatology."

When I removed my mask outside, it turned out that the blood had splashed across the mouth and up over the eye guard, ending just right at the upper border. Nice.

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone's been enjoying the holidays and is ready for 2013!

I've been blissfully lazing around during my winter break after wrapping up my ob-gyn clerkship. After seeing all these deliveries and scrubbing in on the C-sections, I have extreme respect for mothers. Mad respect.

As one of the many perks of being a lowly medical student, one of our duties is usually gathering the general history of the patient in triage. So when a woman in labor is busy breathing her way through a contraction and squeezing the threads out of the sheets, hey - you get a medical student hovering over you, asking about your chief complaint ("What do you think? I'm in freaking labor!"), past medical/surgical history, your previous deliveries ("Can't you pull up the information from my medical charts? I've been here before!"), current medications, allergies, STDs, abnormal pap smears ("No, no, no, NO."), etc. Believe me, we're very sorry, but we enjoy the process as much as you enjoy resisting the urge to throw something at our heads.

So ob-gyn was fun, in that mildly traumatizing way.

Anyway, a friend gave me this snow globe for Christmas and at first glance, I was like, "Aw, this is super adorable. It even plays music while I watch the snow fall. I'm going to treasure this forever!"

And then, the other day, I take a closer look:

Be happy, indeed. A bear gleefully prepared to trample a tiny turtle beneath its huge paw. Or caught right in that magical moment before he sends a flying kick at the turtle's head.

Am I to assume this is a subconscious manifestation of my friend's real feelings for me?

Am I a puny turtle, idiotically grinning away, while the shadow of a foot looms over my head?

No.

When the moment comes ...

I shall be the bear.

Sex Therapy

A lecture we had during psychiatry clerkship was on sex therapy.

The lecturer touched upon paraphilias (sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation, causing distress to the individual or harm to others) for a while and described an experience she had:

One night, the phone rang and she went to pick it up. On the other end, a man breathed harshly before diving into obscene comments and lewd suggestions. Instinctively, she slammed the phone down.

Then, with her hand still on the phone, she thought about this.

The phone rang again and she picked it up. It was the same guy making the same crude remarks and this time, she informed him, "This is an impulse disorder you have, which I imagine would probably cause you a lot of distress. I know where you can get professional help -"

The guy hung up on her before she could finish.

But then, a few minutes later, the phone rang again and when she answered, he asked, "Does the place accept Medicaid?"

"True story!" she stressed as we all laughed in disbelief.


Sorry for being awol. Been really busy lately. I finished my psychiatry and neurology clerkships and I'm now on my pediatrics clerkship. I'm on nursery week and all the babies are so, so adorable - even though a fellow student said that he's since realized all newborns look like Winston Churchill.

Winston Churchill, Master of The Disgruntled Baby Stare-down

Once Again, No Plagiarism

Please Do Not Plagiarize. Honestly. I can't believe how many times I have to stress this. Since there are actually people out there who would not only steal my stories, but also blatantly lie to readers, claiming that I had given them permission to do so, I'd like to make a note here as well as on my fictionpress profile: I have never and will never give anyone permission to repost my stories on another site. Especially when they're changing the names of the characters. As if that's not fishy enough.

Is that clear enough? 

I believe I had already mentioned before in a prior blog post that I absolutely do not want other people to post my story up on other sites even if they say that they'll credit me. If I want the stories up on any other sites, I can very well do that myself, thanks. 

My deepest gratitude to the readers (special thanks to Sarah) who informed me about the wattpad plagiarist. Thankfully, with their help, this incident seemed to have been resolved before I even got home from the hospital today. I am so relieved. Frankly, I'm pretty tired after call and I really wasn't looking forward to dealing with this issue yet again. I'm so thankful that there are still awesome, conscientious readers out there who would take the time to actively help correct a wrong. You're the best.

Psych Ward

Been rotating on the psych ward. Had a full week of orientation stuff which included getting a large set of keys since the entrances to the wards all have sally ports, a personal alarm (essentially a panic button that I should press in case I get trapped with a violent patient or something so that in the security guards' office, my picture and my location would flash on their screens and they can come rescue me) and a brief defense training which involves basically how to take down a patient without really hurting him/her. It involves two staff members and if it was two of us girls vs. a large, hostile man, would probably not bode very well for us girls.

All in all, it has been a nice experience so far. The attending seems to really enjoy teaching and the fellow is really nice. The patients are allowed to roam freely through the halls so a lot of times, when we're meeting in the office, the patients would stare and tap on the window on the door to the room as they mumble to themselves. It feels a bit like we're in a fishbowl sometimes.

We had a new patient transfer into the ward the other day and the woman seems to be bipolar with religious delusions and hallucinations. She also has a long list of serious medical conditions including breast cancer which had metastasized to her bones, but she has no insight regarding her problems.

During the initial interview, she refused to talk to the fellow, calling the doctor a prostitute who had tried to pretend to be the patient and had stolen her stuff to go to heaven. But that was alright because she had a bright light named Abraham who protects the patient and had impregnated her so that she gave birth to the other student with us.

The fellow tried to ask her a few more questions, but the lady refused, screaming, "I'm not talking to you! You're evil! I'm the prophet and the mediator of the bible and you're going down!"

The doctor gave us a look and I jumped in with a question about how long had Abraham been visiting her.

To which, the woman grinned. "He doesn't visit me. I go to see him. He's right there in the other building, helping the people find heaven. You can go there and see him, too." She sighed. "I like talking to you. Chinese people are always nice. Nice and delicious."

The room went quiet.

"I'm delicious?"

"Yes. Nice and delicious," the woman laughed.

"What do you mean by that?" I inquired to fill the silence in the room.

She just beamed and continued to giggle.

"Okay ... thank you," I said at last.

The fellow has since decided that since the patient "liked" me so much, I should follow up on the woman.

"Don't worry. We'll be with you," another student declared. "... so she doesn't eat you."

"Gee, thanks."

tltr

One of my cousins and I like to bicker a lot. Most of our interactions consist of mocking each other for fun though unfortunately, I think he has a lot more embarrassing stories to make fun of me with.

I don't remember exactly what we were texting about - maybe discussing which laptop I should buy to replace my old one or the crazy price increases in external hard drives after some Thailand floods hit manufacturers hard - but at one point, I must have text/ranted.

His response: "tltr"

At first, I was like did he sit on his phone and texted me by accident?

Then, pathetically, I went to google what tltr stood for just in case it was one of those newfangled text speech.

It was. Urban Dictionary revealed tltr = "too long to read".

Stupid cousin.

My response: "sorry you're illiterate."

And that's how part of Adel's text conversation with her brother, Adam, came about.

Other sparkling texts I've exchanged with cousin:

Him: can i come over bored
Me: you can come hang with bro. cramming until dinner tonight.
Him: u should just wing it
Me: I wing you!
Him: Wing isn't a verb
Me: You just used it as a verb. Ohhh winged.

Random Food Photo to bring flavor to this post:

One good thing about cousin though is he can be a really handy garbage disposal. We were at a Japanese food buffet and I, overestimating my gut, ordered one too many rolls. And the thing is the rolls look better in picture than in reality. They had mixed in some fried tempura batter in with the fish in the center, but something about the oil was really heavy and tasted horrible. I couldn't stomach it and was literally breaking out into a sweat, getting a tad nauseous. I felt especially bad because cousin was treating and I expected to just pay the extra fee myself for not finishing the rolls.

However, cousin finished his plates and simply reached out for mine after I ate all the raw fish lying on top of the rolls like sashimi. Even though the remaining rolls were really bad, he still claimed he could finish it all, saying it was no problem at all. And he did. By breaking it down, grain by grain, separating the mass of pink fried concoction in the center, and forcing all of it down. It was simultaneously hilarious and touching because I thought it was so cool of him to just shovel it down for me, taste buds of steel.

So yeah, I suppose he's one of my favorite cousins.

Even though he's still an illiterate fool who should really stop making fun of me.

Through Me Chapter 30

Through Me Chapter Thirty has finally been posted! The end, at last.

I'm so sorry about the ridiculously glacial speed I've been updating this story with, but thank you all so, so much for continuing to support me and the story.

Been sitting on this chapter for a while now. My cousin had started to despair of ever seeing it posted up. I'm still not sure why I took so long to put this up, but I do have 63 pages of TM outtakes at the end of this all so maybe it was because I still wanted to continue revamping it or maybe subconsciously, I just didn't want this to end haha. 

Or maybe! I'm just really scared of more plagiarists popping up now that TM is fully completed. Plagiarism has totally left a bad taste in my mouth. I will destroy you if you steal my stories, including those of you who have stolen the basic outline, edited scenes and lines to try to paraphrase your way out of outright verbatim. You know who you are. I'm glad you've decided to edit your story so it reads less like False Facades now, but I was really furious in the beginning. Decided not to call you out on it because it looks like some readers have picked up similarities since they took the time to alert me and you seemed to be aware that you needed to back up that road fast and fix up your story so the plot is more of your own. Hope you continue to work at it. To others who are contemplating doing the same, you won't be so lucky.

Anyway, as to the tltr part (tltr is short for "too long to read") which you'll get to at the end of this last chapter, I'll probably blog the background story that served as inspiration for the exchange tomorrow or so. It's not much of a story, actually, but based on some of your responses to my previous blog posts, I think some of you guys are surprisingly interested in reading how dorky I am.

It's been a while since I updated this blog as well so I wanted to say: I'm alive! Happy Very Belated New Year 2012! And hope you all recently had a great Memorial Day weekend for those of you in the U.S.

Everything's been going well. Got Step 1 (one of the first medical licensing exams) over with a while back and that went well too. Will blog more about phlebotomy training and clerkships.

This is a bad habit of mine, but I think I've been avoiding the blog until I finally finished TM 30 so I could update with happy news at last, but now that it's done and over with, I should be able to blog more with no guilty conscious lurking over me! Granted, they'd probably be more random ramblings, but at least, you guys won't be left wondering if I'd collapsed into a black hole or something.

So thanks for following Through Me and I hope you all have enjoyed this supremely lengthy time with Tristan, Adel, and the rest of the gang.

You're the best!

P.S. To the random people who have been sending me repeated requests to purchase the rights to False Facades for $199, my answer is no. Thanks for the offers, but no.

To all others who have sent me reviews and PMs that I haven't gotten back to yet, I'm sorry! I'll try to go through them as soon as possible.

Baby

Wow, way overdue for a post. So sorry, had been studying and all. I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving!

This year, we decided to host a Thanksgiving potluck for the family, but since our oven had been broken for a while now (like years), we had the genius idea to just throw the turkey into the barbeque outside rather than dice the bird up for soup. Hours later, Dad went out in his down jacket to check on it, where we found that the grill had run out of gas. Fortunately, most of the meat was cooked and the skin was nice and crispy, but the wings were still raw and had to be stuck in a wok to be cooked some more. Because them giant wings would not fit in our teeny toaster oven.

And that's how we roll for family holidays.

The next chapter of Through Me is still ... in the works. I had intended to finish it once and for all for cousin's birthday, but that didn't happen. She wasn't very happy. She's still not so happy. As I can imagine, you guys might be in a similar state. Sorry! I'll try my best to finish it for the holidays.

Also, remember how I said I'd include more interesting pictures with my posts now that I got my amazing smartphone? Except it's been several months now and I can safely estimate that 99% of my camera photos are of my cousin's children. Baby obsession! As much as I'd love to plaster this blog with pictures of baby sleeping, baby feeding, baby yawning, baby smiling, baby crying, baby skeptical face, baby omg stop freaking me out with that phone already, I'm not sure that you all and baby's mom might appreciate that. So I'd just offer one Kodak moment:

Alright, maybe just one more:

Oh, the agony of being so beautiful.

It's like the kid has this built in defense mechanism against me. Whenever I visit her, two times out of three, she'd be napping. It's like she knows when I'm coming for her. Well, newsflash to her, just because she can face plant whenever I try to snap a picture doesn't mean I can't pick her up and shove my camera into her face eventually. Resistance is futile.

Essence of Sushi Rolls

I not so recently got a smartphone since my old phone was ancient and had been begging for retirement for a while now. Whenever someone used to ask me for my number, I had to follow it up with a warning: "You can call me, but my battery life dies after roughly fifteen minutes of chatting unless I stay plugged in to a wall. I'd prefer emails if you don't mind."

Once, someone responded with a "That's okay. I can always text you.", followed by a ;). 

Me, Very Not Amused: "I do not have a text plan. Please do not text me. Ever."

So my phone was pretty much useless except for emergency calls and setting alarms.

After a week of using my new phone with an unlimited text and data plan ... I do not know how I had ever survived without it.

Now, I can access directions or text friends for help anywhere so I don't have to get lost so easily. I can take photos and videos and just email them to myself instead of tediously plugging a camera into my laptop for uploading. I can waste time on colorful free Android apps. I can google anything right on the spot. I now have modern technology. I am connected to the world.

Except I still refuse to sync phone with facebook and twitter. I don't really go on facebook much because I can so easily lose hours just stalking  perusing people's photos. And after trying out twitter for a bit way back when a friend first convinced me to, I realized that I was a major twitterfail since it was such a reaffirmation of how boring my daily life is hahaha - why am I laughing? :( Also, I didn't like how some acquaintances from real life managed to find me on twitter when I didn't expect them to so I couldn't exactly tweet about writing anymore without getting questions. Writing life's still mostly a secret and I prefer to keep it that way.

Back to the glory of my new phone: the most important part of this new technology update is that I realized that I can snap so many pics on the go now and start inserting some proper images to break up my rambling posts. How exciting.

Except I am such an amateur point and shoot. Not even an adequate amateur actually, I'm the type who goes "Ooh, let's try an artistic angle." then "Ah, crap, angle captured my messy messes in the background." then "Eh, oh well, realistic art, tra la la!"

Example:

Brother made sushi rolls from some vinegared rice, seaweed, avocado, crab sticks, etc. the other day.   

Me: "I shall take very nice pictures now!"
Bro: "Why?"
Me: "Because I want to. So stop eating for a moment."

Me: "Damn, the plate is all sticky and dirty."
Bro: "I will eat now."
Me: "Here, clean this up. Get these -"
Bro: *chomp*

Me: "Noo! I told you to clean up the plate, get all those little grains of rice!
Bro: *chewing on a piece* "I thought you wanted the rolls lined up at a slant so I ate that piece for you."
Me: "I didn't say that."
Bro: "There's a slant now."

 

Me: "I'm hungry. I don't care anymore. Behold, mountain of pink in the background!"
Bro: "You know you can just clear off that plastic bag from the table -"
Me: "Pink mountain, arise!"

Deathly Hallows Part 2 & Pottermore

Finally watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 the other day. I caught it in 3D, which was cool though I'm not sure how much I got out of the 3Dness asides from ooh, I'm floating past the Dementors and whoa, it's like I can reach out and taste Voldemort's drifting ashes. But all in all, the movie was great and I left the theater feeling pretty numbed after I spent part of the time clutching a wadded tissue. it wasn't even so much about all the deaths; I started tearing up when they started warding Hogwarts for battle. So epic.

General Impressions (Beware of spoilers ahead!):

• Voldemort's public announcements were creepy. Especially to those two girls in the movie who screamed their heads off. The girls were so shell-shocked, I actually thought something magically horrific was happening to them and he was melting their brains inside out and soon we were going to see blood trickle out of their ears, eyes, and noses during the close up. Oh, oh ... not so. Voldemort's voice amplification just inspired screams of the normal variety.
• I cringed and wanted to beat off Nagini with a bat when Snape finally met up with Voldemort. I liked how they showed the attack; even offscreen, the death sounded grisly. Poor Snape.
• They did not do Fred Weasley's death justice. Oh, Fred, we didn't even get to see you fall in combat or mourn properly over your dead face. Folks who haven't read the books probably wouldn't have even known which Weasley died, let alone which twin.
• Before, Lavender Brown was the annoying girl who got in between WonWon and Hermione and should have just disappeared for good already, gosh. After seeing a werewolf feast on her body ... Lavender Brown, forgive me, I didn't really mean it. No one deserves a werewolf mauling. :(
• I had not particularly enjoyed Narcissa Malfoy's portrayal in the previous movies because of the skunk on her head and the lack of any memorable scenes, but she was ... wow here. Leading her son away to safety without a backward glance while her husband stumbled after them ... she was so badass. Her main priority had always been to keep Draco safe. Mother's love ftw. Screw the dark side. Work that skunk.
• Dayum, Neville Longbottom, how to successfully get through puberty, indeed.
• Dayum, Hermione Weasley, how to successfully get knocked up early enough to look like one good looking 25 year old mother of a 11 year old daughter?
• I wished everything was longer. 

Good-bye for now, Harry Potter. End another chapter of childhood, take another step into real adulthood.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I recently heard of Pottermore and was discussing it with a friend yesterday. After doing 400 USMLEWorld review questions, my brain felt a bit mushy the whole day and to me, Pottermore sounded like darn good fun ... (keep in mind though that my idea of really fun games have been the Sims and Cranium).

Me: Apparently, it's supposed to be sort of interactive and you can get sorted into Houses and    stuff. I know this is pretty dorky of me but ...
Friend: I WANT A SPOT!
Me: ME TOO!

Real adulthood, indeed.

It's supposed to open up in October to the public, but starting July 31st, people can solve these Magical Quill clues based on the books to register for early access. They don't announce what time the clues go up though so around midnight yesterday, I was like yeah, this sounds pretty exciting (some of you might be scoffing at me now, but I have a sad life revolving around studying at the moment and even finding ice cream in the fridge turns into a momentous highlight of the day for me. Plus, come on, it's like freaking interactive Hogwarts world so I judge you more for not loving Hogwarts - alright, just judge me less harshly) ... but this is ridiculous, am I really going to stay up all night refreshing the Pottermore site in hopes the clue would appear? Sure, I guess I can technically use the time to continue studying and check back on the site hourly, but ... I like sleep too much. Dilemma of the night.

I went to bed. Dilemma over.

Around 4:20 am though, I got a text from friend: "Answer's 245!!"

And then a few minutes later: "You awake??"

Yeah, no, I was completely knocked out.

Around 5:30 am, I jerked awake and checked my phone groggily for the time when I saw her messages. Of course, by then, registration was over and I was like, "Nooo! Thwarted by an hour!"

And then I laughed because I couldn't believe friend had been so dedicated to still be up past 4am. Rolled over and went back to sleep.

At the rate these clues are getting posted up, I'm pretty sure I'm just going to wait for October and be one of those non-special early folks to check out the site. I don't quite have the stamina the hardcore Potter fans have, but it's still incredible to see such enthusiasm over something Harry Potter again especially with the last movie over. The fanbase is definitely still as passionate as back in the days of midnight book release parties, if not more.

Happy Birthday, J.K.Rowling and Harry Potter. Thanks for the good times.

Vagina Actresses, Penis Actors

A while ago, we had gynecologic and genitourinary sessions to teach us how to perform a Pap smear, breast exam, and hernia assessment, digital rectal exam etc. on female and male standardized patients respectively.

Our standardized patients were actually instructors who walked us through the various steps and procedures as we practiced on their own bodies. They must get paid really well.

One distinct difference between the female and male sessions: females are a lot more complicated. Haha, generally, those who were doing the Gyn sessions got out later than the those in the GU sessions and the GU instructor said that was because for women, they want to know every detail and reasoning why we're doing such and such. We have to use the proper terminology and be careful of how we word things, i.e. "I'm going to palpate your breast now." versus "I'm going to feel your breast now."

As opposed to men, who are too busy staring up at the ceiling and thinking of other things so they don't have to focus on us examining their genitals to really process what we're saying during the exam anyway. Men are apparently more likely to feel embarrassed and may choose to turn a blind eye to any medical condition they have, especially of the GU type, rather than come in for a doctor's visit.

My group of three students started off with a GYN session where we spent some time staring at the instructor's breasts and describing them, from their shape, color, lesions to the way they hang. These instructors better be paid well.

After the breast exam, the lady got into position with her feet up in stirrups and legs spread apart while we learned how to work with a speculum and Pap smear test as the instructor watched our movements down below with a handheld mirror. I really, really hope these instructors get paid well.

Classmate got reminded several times to kindly keep his thumb on neutral position while wielding the speculum.

After the session, he murmured, "You know why I kept doing that? It's because I got so used to holding my game controller like that. I think she probably hates me."

"Catching you texting in the background while she was still exposed probably didn't win you any extra points," I said.

"I wasn't texting! I was checking the time on my phone."

Other classmate who had been wielding the speculum at that moment laughed and said that things couldn't be too safe, to which he was like "What? What was that? I didn't catch that."

"She means the instructor might have been worried you were texting pictures ..."

"No! I really was only checking the time!"

"Yeah. And then you asked her how many actresses come to do these sessions."

He covered his face with his hands. "It came out wrong. I meant - I meant like - I blanked out on how to refer to them ..."

The instructor had had a half amused, half puzzled expression on her face. She mused, "Actresses? What kind of actresses do you mean exactly? What, like vagina actresses?"

He stammered a lot.

All of the instructors were really nice and patient with us all and they were incredibly relaxed and professional even with a whole bunch of us getting all up in their private bits. My GU instructor, who works as a nurse in his daytime job, had a great sense of humor. He actually gave a little cheer when I asked him if he was circumcised. And ... that sounds completely wrong out of context so long story short, we were all supposed to ask if our patients are circumcised before we lift the blanket off of them to avoid a whole fiasco of staring at a penis and going ...

"You are not circumcised."
"Yes, actually, I am."
"Oh. Sorry, my bad."

So I was the only one who remembered to do so before the unveiling of the bits and the funny man actually pumped his fist in the air. We all cracked up and I thanked him for his support.

That's not to say I had no problems though. Since I was the last one to do the digital rectal exam, I had a bit of a ... lubrication mishap. Basically, I sat on the stool behind him for the longest time, my gloved finger probing for his anus in between his butt cheeks. It was a very surreal experience.

Instructor, elbows propped on the examination table and legs spread: "Ah, I'm sorry, this isn't your fault but since your classmates did such a good job before, I'm afraid there's a lot of lubrication and you just slipped away from the opening."
Me: "Uh ... okay ... right ... I have it now."
Instructor: "... No ... try a little higher."
Me: "Um ... here?"
Instructor: "Not quite."
Me: "Here?"
Instructor: "Eh ..."
Me (a little desperately now): "Here?"
Instructor: "Yep, good. Now you can push in."

I really wish all of our previous physical diagnosis sessions had these great teachers; it was a lot more thorough, hands-on experience of course and the one-on-one practice with the instructor really helped with correcting our mistakes and enforcing what we learned. But I guess the budget for hiring these folks is pretty limited.

But yay for vagina actresses, penis actors! (Really, those are not their official titles.)

Other news: I have not done any real writing except for a few pages for the next TM chapter. Sorry! I've been busy studying for Step 1, rejecting friends' fun summer plans, taking practice exams, then freaking out and postponing the date ... rinse and repeat. Haha, so I'm still studying, holed up in my room in this sweltering heat, but I will be taking a day off next week to finally see the last Harry Potter film with friends. We wanted to go later to avoid the mad rush and the kids. I don't think I've actually seen all of the HP films and I haven't particularly rated the earlier movies as must sees even though I think they were pretty good family fun movies - but I liked Deathly Hallows Part 1 and this is the last HP movie ever and just the idea of this being the last production together before the cast finally leaves these film sets they grew up on ... sadface! Plus, this being the epic conclusion with Hogwarts going down in flames and so. many. deaths. ... sadbawlingface.

Anyway, I thought this blog needed a long overdue update since it's been a while since I posted. I am still alive and once again, thank you all for your patience and support.

Eating Starch

Been on attending rounds and bedsides for a while now which is a nice experience since I'm not responsible for patients yet but I can observe the rest of the team doing their thing, help hold a patient in fetal position for a lumbar procedure, and listen in on patient reports and presentations.

For bedsides, I got to do a write up on a patient who was admitted to the hospital for complaints of fatigue and an extremely low hemoglobin count. She was a lovely, cooperative lady and she readily agreed to letting me perform a basic physical exam on her, but when the attending came in at the end and told her she could be discharged, the patient sighed in relief. "I can't wait to go home and get some real food."

The attending gave her a look. "I know what you're thinking of and the answer is no."

The patient rubbed her hands sheepishly. "I wasn't going to - no - well, just a little for the road?"

"No!"

"No?"

The attending shook her head, shaking her pen at the patient for emphasis. "It's going to kill you. No more starch."

"Okay ..." the patient agreed, resigned.

Out in the hallway, the attending asked my partner and I, "Did she tell you about her diet?"

"No ..."

"Yeah, well, she eats ... like, starch."

We nodded slowly. "Okay." What's so weird about starch?

"... As in laundry detergent," she explained.

"What?" We gaped at her.

The attending chuckled. "Yeah, we said her GI seemed irritated and she just goes, 'Oh yeah, that might be the starch'. So she's actually been eating Argo Starch which is something I believe that the cleaners use to starch clothes."

My partner blinked. "When you said no starch to her, I thought you meant ... real food ..."

"Like carbs," I added.

So the patient has pica, which is a disorder in which the patient craves non-food substances. Sometimes you see this more often in pregnant women when some of them start having a hankering for dirt, clay, or starch, etc. In the case of this patient, she had a previous history of eating starch during her pregnancy and recently picked up the habit again, popping these Argo Starch like popcorn while watching TV.

Yep. Other than bedsides, I've been studying for practicals and exams. Been busy and it's probably going to be busy for a while. Writing will be on hold til late summer probably. As always, thanks for your patience!

Oh wait, on a totally random note, it really hit me the other day that the last Harry Potter movie will be coming out this summer and at that moment, it felt like my childhood - tis OVER! Haha, this generation who grew up with Harry Potter and the Hogwarts bunch and lived through the anticipation of waiting for each book to come out ... this is it. The last movie. Just seeing the cast of Harry Potter all grown up and how mature and stylish they are now and going off on their own separate successful ways after completing this series and comparing them to the first movie when they were such cuties with their little chubby cheeks and ... my childhood is finished. TAKE ME BACK.

So when I saw this epic fan video ... I'm a dork. I teared up a little:



The magic will never die! Battle cry of the day.

Oh, and congrats to Prince William and Kate Middleton for getting hitched. It was the day after my formal so my friend woke me up freakishly too early to watch it be broadcast live and I kept passing out on the air mattress next to her TV in the living room where I had crashed for the night only to be wakened up sporadically by her comments on the dress, the hats and stuff. I think every time I opened my eyes, I saw Kate walking down the aisle again. I felt a little like I was in Twilight Zone, but since it got replayed so many times throughout the day, I was happy to be able to catch it later when I was less groggy. It was really a very lovely wedding and everyone looked absolutely spiffy.

Advanced Medical Technology

Doctors Who Stalk

We had a lecture on lipid disorders.

One of the slides in the Powerpoint presentation featured a woman's eyes with xanthoma (fat deposits under the surface of the skin).

Here, the doctor paused. "Okay, this picture is of this patient - this is a true story - I first saw this woman on the train and she had this xanthoma around her eyes." He glanced at the slide again. "So I kept staring at her."

Some of us chuckled and even he broke off with a laugh when he realized how creepy that sounded.

"It's very typical for some people to not be aware of their condition, but anyway, so I kept staring at her and then this stop comes up and she gets off the train." He nodded. "So I followed her."

Now, we all started laughing.

"True story! So I caught up with her and I gave her my name and number -" He shook his head with another self-deprecating grin. "Good thing she still decided to come to the hospital anyway. She came to our office a few days later and we treated her. She actually wanted the xanthoma removed surgically, but without real treatment for her underlying condition, it would have recurred. But after we helped her, I think she's doing really well now. Nice and healthy life."

Score one for doctors who stalk.

Better than certain doctors who act like they can't be bothered to care.