Thursday, April 22, 2010

Apologies

Recently, I've received some emails from some pretty angry readers and I'd like to apologize here for the long wait since my last update. Status update: regarding the next chapter for Through Me, I have 15 pages. I'm not lying and I'm not making something up to pacify you guys.

Your next question might probably run something along the lines of: "Well, why don't you just post the goddamn thing then?"

Because I don't want to. Not because I adore making you all wait and I love receiving hate mail, but because I don't love the chapter in its current condition and it's already in its third rewrite. Something isn't jiving. However, in response to some readers' concerns, I can promise you that the story will be finished and I haven't abandoned it yet. I just need to work on it longer.

Why is it taking me so long? Because of school. And also, because of friends and the other distractions that come along with life. Yes, I'm aware some of you have said school can't be that busy, but I do like to spend the few breaks I have with friends and family sometimes. Or yes, to laze around and watch a little bit of TV. Call me weak, but I can't stop myself from slacking off with some mindless breathing moments too at times.

And why haven't I updated my blog in a while? Microbiology, Immunology, and General Pathology. I just finished a 15 page path essay, prepped for tomorrow's small group discussion on abscesses and septic shock, and I have to start cramming for Monday's exam. I would also possibly like to curl up in a ball and sleep too.

I can certainly update the blog with posts of daily blabbering about work, but the response I received since my last post didn't exactly go over too well ... and I began to feel guilty instead. Perhaps these readers think I should be working on the next chapter instead of blogging? Perhaps they'd rather wait for a post about an actual chapter update? Yep, I got intimidated. And just uncertain. I definitely understand the frustrations of readers when they have to wait and wait and wait ... only to find nothing, nope, no update yet. And I was just upset because I didn't have anything substantial to appease these readers. Not yet. So I kinda walled myself off, dropped everything else, and focused on school, thinking that "Okay, soon, I will post when I get the next chapter out. Soon."

Yeah, okay. Too bad getting the next chapter out hasn't been working out so far. Writing's definitely been on the backburner these past months and I'm sorry to say that it'd probably continue until summertime, at the very least. This course has exams and presentations mixed in with essays, lab reports, and so much other tedious work that I could scream. Plus, it starts 8am daily. Which means I wake up 5:30am daily. I average about five hours of sleep a night. I haven't been the kindest soul in the mornings this past year. 

The semi-good news though? Thanks to all your patience and understanding the previous months, I was able to really do nothing but focus on my Pharmacology class and I'm happy to report I got an A? Yay?

And for those who are interested in some random details about my recent non-life, I practiced giving PPD shots (The PPD shot is injected under the top layer of skin, causing a blister to form and it's a common test given to diagnose tuberculosis. I'm sure most of you have received this test before for school or work forms and what not) the other day. This means me giving my very first injection to a fellow classmate and her returning the favor. Only her needle slipped out the first time before she could administer the saline solution and she had to do it twice. I am self-sacrificing. Kidding, I didn't mind because she did it very well and it was relatively painless. We all ended the day at the clinic with our very own teeny bubbles on our arms. Gold stars and stickers? Pfft, those are for babies. 

Otherwise, I know, I suck. And I'm sorry for everything. I will try to fit in more writing, but I honestly am getting buried by the workload at this moment. Parents are also away on vacation for three weeks and us spoiled spawn of theirs are still figuring out how to survive on a day-to-day basis. My brother claims he's not hungry every time I ask him what he wants for dinner. Either he's going on a diet or he isn't quite willing to entrust his stomach and I suppose, his quality of life in my clumsy chef hands. What? Food poisoning's treatable.

If you wish to kick me off your reading lists, I completely understand. All I can offer right now are my meek apologies. And if you can find it in your hearts to lay off on the hate mail for now, I'd appreciate it too. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your time and patience.

15 comments:

  1. Hey!

    I just randomly thought about FP and your story today (I've actually not gone onto FP in a good 2 months) and so I ended up here, on your blog, to see what you've been up to.

    I'm glad that things are going (relatively) well for you in school... that 8am sounds painful. So does giving shots/recieving shots with classmates... but someone's got to do it, right?

    I guess I'm just a chicken. I hate shots - of any kind - with a passion, so I can't imagine just taking for the sake of "practice."

    Anywho, the main reason I'm commenting is because I want to tell you that there is absolutely no reason you should apologize for not updating in a while. Everyone's got a life, responsibilities, friends, family, etc. and those things should always be put ahead of writing a story online.

    I mean, FP is more of a hobby than anything else and it's not like you (or any of the other writers) get paid to do it, so while us, readers, would like you guys to keep writing, you're under no obligation to do so.

    Anyway, I wish you luck with writing the next chapter... and honestly, just take it easy. No pressure:) I'm just glad to know that you're not giving up on the story!

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  2. I like reading your random ramblings :) So, you know, no pressure!

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  3. Might not mean much, but I'm a freshman undergraduate and pre-med too, so, I love all the random blabber about med school. It's kind of awesome hearing about that, so...post? Love the crazy situations you get into, like the rectal exams and the sticking each other with needles, and Rusty the narcoleptic dog. So awesome. I can't wait till med school (to kill myself even more). If it helps, though I'm only a freshman, I suffer from sever asian student syndrome so I'm dying too. Overachievers unite!

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  4. I actually quite enjoy reading your blog posts, almost as much as through me lol. As long as you're keeping through me as WIP and plan to finish it, all's fine.

    Looks like med school's hectic as hell. I've got a friend whos in med school as well and she sleeps,eats and studies on her desk before her exams. Not so fun.

    Stay alive in med school and keep writing! ^^

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  5. Wow, that's so cool. I plan to go to med school, too, but I'm just gonna start college this year. I hope I survive through that. And you're really amazing to still be able to write after all those stuff! Those who complain must just shut up, they're not helping. You please us with your wonderful work of fiction, free of charge and they have to complain? Jeez.

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  6. Don't worry! I'm patiently waiting, though I really hope you can update ASAP!!!

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  7. Aww, thanks for the support, guys! I'll try to kick my butt into shape and get the next chapter out as soon as possible, but thank you so much for being so understanding and for being willing to put up with me and all this super insanely long waiting.

    And um, I'll do try to make my random blog ramblings until the next update as interesting as possible, haha. Thanks for the support again!

    And agreed, all us overachievers unite! Best of luck to all of your studies and workload and dreams, etc. etc. Here's hoping that we can achieve the goals we're aiming for to the best of our abilities.

    You guys left such considerate comments, I just can't stop - omgosh, just LOVE!

    - Maeven :)

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  8. o.o I understand, well somewhat XD AP stuff is killing me right now, i have no time for anything.

    I can't wait for the update, whenever is fine really. Just please don't be like some authors who write really great stories and then just end up disappearing.

    Ahh can't wait! I remember reading all of the present chapters during summer XD Soo much fun! Keep writing~

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  9. In response to angry readers who are trying to be intimidating and force a new chapter out of you, I just wanna tell them all to "Chill!"

    To tell you the truth, while I wondered as well about the next chapter of "Through Me" because I love the story so much, I'm also a fellow college student and I understand that sometimes you just can't find the time or the day to do things that everyone else wants you to do. I'm not a medical student-- I'm Medical Technology-- and my schedule currently is packed to the brim with studying, clinical rotations, tests, tests, and more tests. My friends are wanting me to crawl out of my little hole at home and see sunlight every once in a while, but when I have a spare moment, I just want to spend it being mush and not moving at all. I can only imagine how much busier you are as a medical student.

    And so it has never crossed my mind to angrily demand from you a new chapter as soon as possible. Writing is your hobby after all, and Medical School is something you've worked hard to maintain. There is absolutely no reason why you need to apologize to those angry demanding readers, as many others have commented about. If they can't be considerate enough to understand how hectic your life is right now, then they should just get over it.

    I completely agree with the first comment here: You are under absolutely no obligation to provide the readers with immediate chapter posts and constant updates about your status. While I look forward to your next chapter, I also don't wish for you to break yourself just to pump out the rest of the story while you're already breaking your back trying to get through medical school-- that would be unreasonable.

    Sorry about the long comment, but I just couldn't believe that you were actually getting angry messages from fans. Fans should be more understanding and support you rather than demand from you.

    There's no reason why you need to feel bad about not being able to appease your readers. You write because you love to write and its just that simple. If you don't feel like the next chapter is good enough to be posted yet, then you take your time and do what you need to to make sure you're satisfied. I love to write too, but to this day, I haven't been able to post a single thing because I'm probably the worst critic of myself and have never been satisfied with anything I've written. And I'm stubborn, so if I'm not satisfied, I don't share.

    But anyway, jumping down from my soap box now, I apologize for not commenting sooner and I apologize for the long comment. I just today checked up on the blogs I've been following and noticed this post and felt a need to say something.

    I'm glad that you're doing well in your courses. To be honest, I had been pre-med as well, but my study habits and the fact that I'm not that smart when it comes to medical stuff forced me to switch to a different major. If I had actually been more motivated, I might have managed to barely make it into medical school (though I'm not even sure if that's true). So I really admire you for being able to get there and maintain your writings the way that you do as well as spend time with friends and family. And I admire your writing style and humor-- it's awesome!

    Keep up the good work and I just wanna let you know that I'm a one hundred percent supporter and fan of your writing and work. Take your time and try to relax whenever you get the chance, cause you deserve it. It's never crossed my mind that you would give up on the story anyway since I recall you mentioning before that you'll see it to the end.

    Take care of yourself.

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  10. Hi!

    I just like to say that I understand you want to perfect your chapter before sending it out and how med school is very stressful, having quite a few friends in med school who study their brains out for it.

    Just take your time and rest when you can, and work on your chapter when you have some time left. ^_^

    Take care.

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  11. Wow, thank you guys again for all the additional support!

    Anonymous, anicheung!, and Joey, thank you!

    anicheung: Thanks so much for all the good thoughts and for steadily supporting me all this time. Thank you so much for always taking the time to throw in your input. You're awesome! Also, yes, I feel that getting through medical school is perhaps 5% brains, 95% dedication. It's not for everyone - believe me, I get into a depressing funk too many times to count when I have problems with the work and sometimes, I just ask "Why? Why did you ever start this madness in the first place?" What's important is that you make the right choice for yourself since you know your limits the best. Medical Technology sounds cool and challenging - especially since I'm kinda technologically dumb. Best of luck and I hope you continue to excel in your work!

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  12. Hi!

    I just wanted to let you know that i'm soooooooooooo glad to hear that you are still working on finishing Through Me. There have been a lot of stories that never get finished on FP and it kills me that I don't get to read the rest of them. (Also the reason why I came to your blog... desperately searching for some indication that you didn't drop it ^_^).

    I just recently read your story on FP, and I love it and I'm so glad that you didn't take Through Me or FF down. I've seen them on a whole bunch of other authors favorites list and I have to agree that they are awesome! I still feel like going back and rereading them ^_^.

    Best of luck with all the med school stuff, I hope you have a bit of summer break now. I can't wait for the next chapters of the story... it's something that i'm gonna really be looking forward too!

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  13. hii! i'm just another fp reader but i found your blog a while ago and it's so fun to read about your med school experience (especially about that edward cullen parasite in the above post, loll)! i really admire for being able to keep up with school as well as write entertaining stories on the side. just wanted to say a huge thank you, cause you totally deserve it! keep up the awesome work!

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  14. what ungrateful assholes ..hate mail?
    whats with that ..you said you would update and you it could take you 10 years but thats ok its your story and you can do what ever you want

    I'm a huge fan by the way ..False Facades is one of the best stories I ever read <3

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  15. Thanks so much for the supportive comments! You guys are the best.

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