Sunday, January 23, 2011


I always knew Peanut Butter was too good for Jelly haha.

Will You Look Up My Nose?

In our small group session, we practiced the basic head & neck, thorax & lungs examination on each other.

This basically meant we all got a tad more intimate with some people we've been hanging around with for too long.

We played with penlights and checked the direct and consensual light reaction (constrictions of the pupils). We half-assed the Snellen card exam since I should hope all of us already knew whether or not we needed eyeglasses and we took turns blinding each other with the ophthalmoscope until we figured out the dim setting.

We convinced a girl that we wouldn't judge her for having a dirty ear as she tried to wheedle her way out of getting it checked with the otoscope:
"I think I have earwax."
          "It's okay."
"No, really, it's stuck up there and I can't get rid of it! Q-tips don't work! Please, no!"
"Oh, silly, you're funny. It's okay. We doubt you'd be the last dirty ear we'd be seeing."
"No, really -"
"Just sit down."
The doctor then looked in my ear as a demonstration for the other students because everyone seemed to be having a hard time with it; apparently, we all have narrow ear canals. Nothing like having your classmates hovering around to study the inside of your ear to make a girl feel self-conscious.

Then we looked up a girl's nose. Then we looked up a sick girl's nose and admired her swollen turbinates. Then we made sick girl open up her mouth so we could inspect her swollen tonsils; white patches! We think it's a viral infection and we were so excited over the girl's sickness, it was pretty sad.

We went over the neck's lymph nodes and moved on to inspecting the thorax and lungs. Our small group sessions are separated into groups by sex so we had a bunch of girls pulling off their sweaters and unzipping their hoodies so that we can practice better in our tank tops. Of course, that's when some guys decided to wander over by our room. The doctor gave them a pointed look. "Do you need anything?"

"No, we're just -" They got the door slammed in their faces.

When one of the girls tried respiratory excursion on me (palpation by cupping your hands around the patient's posterior thorax to observe for symmetry), I'm ashamed to say I broke out into uncontrollable giggles. I'm extremely ticklish and just barely restrained myself from elbowing the girl in her face to free myself.

We went through tactile fremitus, percussion (that was fun), and auscultation. I think we're all healthy.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Dr. Chippendale

We had a lecture on head, eye, thorax physical examination procedure.

For the last demonstration, the doctor called up one of the guys to play guinea pig. When he made his way up to the front of the room, she asked, "Would you mind taking off your shirt?"

He froze. "Uh ..."

The class' response:

Half the guys: "We mind!"

Other half: "Do it! Take it off!" *wolf whistles*

Girls: Exactly which side do we take that would be least offensive?

Guy gamely decided to participate, turned his back to the class and tugged up his shirt. I really wanted to describe the scene in more detail, but all the lines I've typed up at this point made me sound like a really bad Harlequin novel. Suffice to say, the shirt made it up over the guy's face. His back: muscles flexed, light gleamed off skin.

Guys in our class snickering: "Whoo, baby!"

With his arms raised and the shirt still covering his face, he paused. Commencement of pelvic gyrations.

Class burst into loud guffaws. Yes, professionals we are.

Doctor, trying not to smile and probably wondering if this was such a good idea now, asked the guy to sit down on the bench, back still facing us. We then went through the techniques of tactile fremitus, percussion, and auscultation with the stethoscope. Percussion, by the way, is exactly what it sounds like; it's pretty much like playing drums on the patient's back with your fingers and listening for resonance. Next up, air guitar.

Guy was instructed to face us and while the doctor continued to explain what she was looking for, guy glanced down at his chest worriedly. As she continued to speak, he tried to subtly blow on his hands and pat his chest (specifically nipple range).

Doctor paused as she turned to him, stethoscope in hand.

He dropped his hand, cleared his throat. "Sorry. It was cold."

The class cracked up again.

Doctor: Must remember why I agreed to teach.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

For Everything Else, There's Mastercard

Course director sent out a page of recommended tools we should purchase for our physical diagnosis course:

Littmann Cardio III Stethoscope: ~$150
Ophthalmoscope/Otoscope: ~$600
Sphygmomanometer: ~$150
Reflex Hammer: ~$10
Tuning Forks (128 and 512 Hz): ~ $14 each
Penlights: $5
Case Studies Workbook: $26
Textbook: $80

The Medical Diagnostic Experience: Priceless ... my ass.

If you are super close with any sad, poor medical students or you just really pity them sad, sad souls and/or want them to love you for life, gift them with a really good stethoscope. Adoration. For life.

Medical Bag: $ eff that, I'm wrapping this up in a plastic garbage bag and calling it a day. (Half joking.)

While waiting for our physical diagnosis preceptor to come for our session on vitals (it got so late, we joked that this really felt like a real medical office), we started chatting about movies.

One girl said she was going to see Black Swan which most of the group said was a really good movie. From there, we talked about Natalie Portman's pregnancy and from there, we talked about how she was going to be in this new movie with Ashton Kutcher.

We agreed it looked like a pretty bad movie.

One person laughed, "Friendship has its benefits. Yah, sure, right."

From there, we started talking about all the random movie trailers we've seen. Apparently, a lot of us enjoy watching trailers and not, you know, the actual movies themselves. Since classes had recently picked up, I'm assuming this is due to a decrease in free time to actually go sit through a two hour movie at the theaters when we can just squat at home with our textbooks and speculate happily over a two minute clip during procrastination breaks. Whatever the reason, yes, this still sounds pretty pathetic.

Anyway, one girl, half choking on a laugh, suddenly brought up: "Oh my gosh ... Gnomeo and Juliet."

The conversation tripped and we all gave her this quizzical look. I was pretty sure I must have misheard and was trying to decide if I should ask her to repeat or if I should just pretend to know what she was talking about and nod.

The girl seemed to realize we had no clue what she was talking about though and enlightened us: "Basically ... Romeo is a gnome."

Never in the world had I imagined I would ever hear that. So ridiculous, it was hilarious.

When we were done laughing:

"What? For real?"

Another girl: "I would think Juliet would rather die than be with a gnome though."

"They're all gnomes!"

"Oh man ... I'm sorry for Shakespeare."

Gnomeo & Juliet? Surely, this is one of those cases when someone (perhaps with the helpful aid of some mind-altering substance) comes up with the title first and then writes out a whole screenplay just for it. Because otherwise, the other scenario would mean that someone one day decided that a gnome story would be cute and since gnomes make people naturally think of Shakespeare and gnomefied witches for Macbeth would just be way too creepy, an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet would be ideal and even better, ooh, they can call it Gnomeo and Juliet ... yeah, I don't know, maybe if there were also some mind-altering substances in play here.

So I had to check out the trailer. And well ... it seems charming enough for kids and there's the Shrek 2 director and James McAvoy! (though sadly, he is gnomefied and I don't dig bearded gnomes even with the James McAvoy! voice), though I'm assuming this won't be a true adaptation of the classic what with the ... gnomes ... and probably no tragedy in the end because how exactly do you kill gnomes?

I'd like to know because garden gnomes kinda freak me out.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows with friends before Christmas after our last day of classes. I had a lot of time to kill before I met up with other friends for a late dinner so I thought a movie would be a good way to productively waste time. Productively waste? Hmm, oxymorons ftw.

Anyway, I like to judge movies into two categories:
           A. Worth the ticket price
           B. Gimme back my money, bitch!
*Spoilers Ahead!*
I deemed HP worth the money halfway through because it was just really good and the locations they went through were gorgeous. Plus, I love that feeling when large stakes finally come into play. The movie as a whole felt more emotional to me than the previous ones and I thought it suited well with seeing how our favorite protagonists mature and cope with hard decisions in a new, dangerous world. The beginning part of the movie when Hermione obliviates herself from her parents' memory already had me tearing up. I'd admit when I read the book, the beginning part dragged a bit for me, but hey, epic quests take time to solve and the "slow scenes" in the movie stayed true to the book and only emphasized how lost these teenagers were as they tried to figure out the Horcruxes without much to go on and how they didn't give up. It also helped that each new camping site they went to looked like some picturesque page out of National Geographic. Dreamy backgrounds ♥

And the part when Harry dances with Hermione to cheer her up after Ron left was easily one of my favorite scenes. Not because I'm one of those Harry/Hermione shippers (I adore Rupert Grint/Ron), but because it was cute and funny and poignant at the same time. In the theater, almost everyone started off with a laugh which then faded into this collective commiserating, nostalgic silence. Finding small comfort in little, silly acts like these should resonate deeply with anyone who's ever went through a tough time, evil dark killer wizard not necessary.

So I was like yep, this is a good movie, I'm so excited!, this is so worth the money and I'm going to recommend this to everyone  - and then the movie ended.

Which, okay, I knew this was part one and duh, it was never going to have a final final conclusion, but still, I wanted moooore. It was building and building up and then it ended. Only after the ending do you realize 'Oh yeah, that fight in the Malfoy home ... that was supposed to be the climax of the movie.'

Sighs. Still, I lurved!

But when I mentioned that I'd seen HP to a friend and how I really liked it, the first thing he asked was, "But did you feel that there were scenes that lingered too long on people's faces? Scenes that dragged?"

"Well ... I guess. But not any more than any other character-driven movie in a drama genre or something. The characters are growing up and they're no longer in school with classes and having fun so I think there's a more mature feel to - oh no, there are bad reviews for HP, aren't there? You've read bad reviews! Who are these people who have given bad reviews and where do they live??"

"I've heard some," he affirmed cautiously.

I guess some people who were expecting more action and magic in their HP films were disappointed, but for me, I think this latest movie will be my most memorable one yet out of the series so far. I don't know specifically why. Maybe it was the lonelier, darker atmosphere and how the little kiddies are all so grown up now and acting their butts off with their more subtle, nuanced expressions ... I just liked it, damn it. End.

Oh, also on movie day, we caught this trailer during the previews:

Man in front: Oh, no.
Man behind me: Oh, god. 
Me to friend: Is it me or does this kinda remind you of -
Screen: From the Director of Twilight ...
Me: Oh. Right.
Friend: I am not watching that.
Screen: Who's Afraid? March 2011.
Me: Is this a horror movie? What are we supposed to be afraid of?
Friend: I'm definitely not watching that.
Me: Will there be sparkling werewolves that will terrorize the village?
Friend: Not watching it.
Me: But Amanda Seyfried doesn't care. She still wants to be with him even though he tells her he's wrong for her. Wait, whoa, why does this seem so familiar?
Friend: Definitely 100% not watching this.

Friday, January 7, 2011

The Butt Dance

Friend had a potluck at her place the other day. I decided to bring spring rolls so I wrangled my brother into helping me wrap rolls the night before.

During wrapping, we bonded:
Brother: So, the butt dance.
Me: Oh. That Korean thing?
Brother: Yes. KARA.
Me: Hmm, that's really the only song I know from that group. What's the name of it again? Mister or something?
Brother: No clue. I only know of The Butt Dance.
Me: Oh ... okay.
Brother: ....
Me: La la la la lala laa la la la lala la la -
Brother: Don't.
My brother doesn't like to talk much.

Anyway, this is the butt dance he is referring to. Kinda old news, but I guess no news is too old for guys when it comes to girls doing synchronized booty-shakin':

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Through Me Chapter 29

Through Me Chapter 29 has finally been posted! It's a really, really long chapter (around 25 pages) and Fictionpress went and messed with some of my formatting again so Adel and Tristan look like they have ultra fancy email addresses for the technologically impaired, but oh wells. I hope you like it anyway.

I'm hoping to wrap up the story by the next chapter or so. A nice round 30 chapters. Until then, thank you all so much for sticking with this story for so long. I know it hasn't been easy with my excruciatingly slow updates so you guys really are way awesome. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Worst Christmas Ever

Christmas Day, my brother drove into a Rite Aid parking lot so that I can pop in to pick up some formula for my cousin's baby and as he started to maneuver the car around into a parking space, the SUV in the next space suddenly started to back up blindly until thud, it dented the rear backseat door of our car. The lady then honked as if we were at fault for being in the way and when we didn't move, she threw her hands up and stuck her head out of the window with a cigarette dangling from her lips and goes, "I didn't do that. That dent was already on your car."

We stared at her in disbelief and from then on, the argument basically went through "Uh, yeah, you hit us." ... "No, I didn't." ... "Yeah, you did." ... "No, you're lying." ... "No, there's a dent. Why the hell would we lie?" ... "I don't know, because you want your car to be fixed." ... "Yeah, because you HIT us."

So we got out of our car to call the cops to file an accident report.

Then crazy lady proceeded to drive forward over the parking lot bumper and turned her car around across the neighboring three empty parking spaces and tried to drive away.

So I called after her, "Hey, lady, I got your license plate number so go ahead, drive off. We'll just wait here for the cops."

Insane lady then made a loop around the parking lot and doubled back still screaming out the window, "I'm going to call the cops. I know the cops. You're lying!" Sped off. Returned. "Don't try to put this on me! You're lying!"

To which I shouted back, "What are you even doing right now? What are you doing? Are you on drugs or something?" She was pasty-faced with dried lips and I still couldn't comprehend what she thought driving in circles would solve.

Of course, she responded intelligently with, "What are you doing? What are you doing?"

"I'm calling the cops, thanks."

"Well, I'm calling the cops too. On my own."

"You go right ahead. Keep driving around in circles, too."

Then she drove off again to hover in the outer perimeters of the lot.

Meanwhile, I'm calling the cops to confirm the address when suddenly, a red car veered up next to us and a man with heavy-lidded eyes jumped out yelling, "What are you doing to my wife? My wife didn't do anything! She didn't do anything!"

Pointed at the dent. "Your wife hit us."

"She didn't do anything! Nothing! What are you trying to pull?"

Okay. Apparently, insane lady called her equally insane husband for back-up. Nice. Oh look, here goes insane lady driving up again to scream the equivalent of "Yeah!" and "That's right!" in accompaniment to her husband's eloquent monologue. Also, "I'm going to the hospital and I'm gonna say that you hurt my neck. That's what you get for making a big deal out of it."

I laughed out loud.

Well, we exchanged a few choice words and then I turned my back on them, ignoring them to talk to the operator and to call my cousin up to come pick up our gifts for her kids because we weren't going anywhere anytime soon. Then I called my other cousin to say that we might not be able to meet up for lunch after all.

So so far, I was pissed off and irritated, but that turned out to be nothing compared to how I felt when the cops actually got there. Because instead of relieving my concerns, the first thing one of the cops said after listening to the lady ramble on about how there wasn't any problem at all was "So why did you call us? Why did we even need to come?"

My brother's brows furrowed. "Uh, she hit our car. We called you. Can you come take a look at our car first?" As in, can you please get out of your car and come take a look, sir?

So blah. blah, blah. The cops announced, "Okay, we're going to file a no-fault report."

And I stared at them. "No fault? We got hit. They're at fault."

The insane husband was still blabbering in the background about how that was exactly what he told us, that there would be a no fault report filed and what would end up happening would be that both our insurances would be raised so it would be equally bad for both of us ... blah blah, basically trying to convince us that not filing an insurance claim would be the best route for both parties. Well, you sure seem familiar with these accident reports - had a lot of experience?

I ignored him and the cop explained, "But right now, she's saying you're the ones who hit the back of her car so it's a he said, she said thing."

"Wait, what if there were witnesses?"

Cop raised an eyebrow. "Well, where's your witness then?"

I pointed at the surveillance camera. "The video probably caught everything."

Cop then practically scoffed and said, "Well, I'm not going in there to get that video. If you want it, you go get it yourself."

It wasn't so much about what he was saying, but how he was saying it that rubbed me the wrong way. He literally could care less. It started to feel like we, the victims, were the ones who were at fault for calling the cops and wasting their precious time.

So my brother ran in, got the help of a really nice Rite Aid security guard, and then came jogging back out. "They have the video. It shows everything clearly."

The cops actually sat there deliberating so I added, "Would you take a look, please?"

They sighed and agreed and I muttered a "Thank you." But at that moment, I was relieved because surely, the video would help clear this whole mess.

What actually happened was that the relatively more professional cop looked at the video while the other cop who told us to get the video ourselves hung around in the store, not even taking a look and chatted with the insane husband, saying, "I don't know why they're so persistent about this when it's just property damage."

I wasn't in the store then, but my brother was and he later told me what happened and my response was pretty much *string of curse words* ... Seriously, what happened to good cops and justice and all that jazz? If someone hit their car, I'd bet my last dime they wouldn't be all zen about it ("Oh, go on, it's just property damage, please, dent my other side too so that I may achieve perfect symmetry. Golden ratio, behold.")

Brother muttered, "This makes me want to not pay taxes." 

In the end, we got a copy of the video which showed the SUV clearly backing up into us (store manager who took a look even blurted out, "She hit you! Junkie monkey?"). Insane lady, however, still maintained that we hit her or that we had moved the car back to lie in wait for her to hit us and continued cursing us out and taking pictures of our dented car. She had a stack of expired licenses or something for some reason and didn't even managed to produce a current license, saying she left it at home and still, the cops didn't fine her? Then she tried saying that we'd been harassing and threatening her until the cops came. To which finally, finally, the slightly more professional cop told her he wanted her to leave and go home. Junkie monkey, indeed.

Then I asked the cop if the report would still be filed no-fault and he said that they can't determine anything; it's the insurance company who does that. So fine, okay, guess the cops were never going to be a major help. As long as they got the information down and we got the video, we'll try to deal with everything else ourselves and hope the insurance claim pans out. It was just frustrating and aggravating. In a normal scenario, we could have just exchanged insurance information and went on with our lives. What are the odds that we'd get hit by a weirdo who can still keep up a delusional string of lies even after seeing the recording? Even insane husband gentled his tone later as he still tried to convince me that not filing an insurance claim would be better for both our insurance rates. Of course, I snubbed him by turning around to talk to my cousin instead of listening to him, but at least, he didn't continue cursing like a maniac.

But hey, Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! And Happy New Year! May we all get off to a much better, happier year than the last.

And here's to hoping our neighborhood precinct get around to upgrading their standards for better cops.

Haha, I'll stop being a downer now. 

I will update Through Me Chapter 29 soon - tomorrow or sometime this week. I also wanted to get Chapter 30 down too and finish the story this winter break, but I have another of those pesky board exams to deal with and the break's already sadly nearing its end. It is an optional one on a subject I took a year ago, but I signed up for it since I think it'd be good to see how badly I do so that I can be properly scared into prepping hard for Step 1 haha. Sighs, I'll see. Happier posts coming soon!