Our standardized patients were actually instructors who walked us through the various steps and procedures as we practiced on their own bodies. They must get paid really well.
One distinct difference between the female and male sessions: females are a lot more complicated. Haha, generally, those who were doing the Gyn sessions got out later than the those in the GU sessions and the GU instructor said that was because for women, they want to know every detail and reasoning why we're doing such and such. We have to use the proper terminology and be careful of how we word things, i.e. "I'm going to palpate your breast now." versus "I'm going to feel your breast now."
As opposed to men, who are too busy staring up at the ceiling and thinking of other things so they don't have to focus on us examining their genitals to really process what we're saying during the exam anyway. Men are apparently more likely to feel embarrassed and may choose to turn a blind eye to any medical condition they have, especially of the GU type, rather than come in for a doctor's visit.
My group of three students started off with a GYN session where we spent some time staring at the instructor's breasts and describing them, from their shape, color, lesions to the way they hang. These instructors better be paid well.
After the breast exam, the lady got into position with her feet up in stirrups and legs spread apart while we learned how to work with a speculum and Pap smear test as the instructor watched our movements down below with a handheld mirror. I really, really hope these instructors get paid well.
Classmate got reminded several times to kindly keep his thumb on neutral position while wielding the speculum.
After the session, he murmured, "You know why I kept doing that? It's because I got so used to holding my game controller like that. I think she probably hates me."
"Catching you texting in the background while she was still exposed probably didn't win you any extra points," I said.
"I wasn't texting! I was checking the time on my phone."
Other classmate who had been wielding the speculum at that moment laughed and said that things couldn't be too safe, to which he was like "What? What was that? I didn't catch that."
"She means the instructor might have been worried you were texting pictures ..."
"No! I really was only checking the time!"
"Yeah. And then you asked her how many actresses come to do these sessions."
He covered his face with his hands. "It came out wrong. I meant - I meant like - I blanked out on how to refer to them ..."
The instructor had had a half amused, half puzzled expression on her face. She mused, "Actresses? What kind of actresses do you mean exactly? What, like vagina actresses?"
He stammered a lot.
All of the instructors were really nice and patient with us all and they were incredibly relaxed and professional even with a whole bunch of us getting all up in their private bits. My GU instructor, who works as a nurse in his daytime job, had a great sense of humor. He actually gave a little cheer when I asked him if he was circumcised. And ... that sounds completely wrong out of context so long story short, we were all supposed to ask if our patients are circumcised before we lift the blanket off of them to avoid a whole fiasco of staring at a penis and going ...
"You are not circumcised."So I was the only one who remembered to do so before the unveiling of the bits and the funny man actually pumped his fist in the air. We all cracked up and I thanked him for his support.
"Yes, actually, I am."
"Oh. Sorry, my bad."
That's not to say I had no problems though. Since I was the last one to do the digital rectal exam, I had a bit of a ... lubrication mishap. Basically, I sat on the stool behind him for the longest time, my gloved finger probing for his anus in between his butt cheeks. It was a very surreal experience.
Instructor, elbows propped on the examination table and legs spread: "Ah, I'm sorry, this isn't your fault but since your classmates did such a good job before, I'm afraid there's a lot of lubrication and you just slipped away from the opening."I really wish all of our previous physical diagnosis sessions had these great teachers; it was a lot more thorough, hands-on experience of course and the one-on-one practice with the instructor really helped with correcting our mistakes and enforcing what we learned. But I guess the budget for hiring these folks is pretty limited.
Me: "Uh ... okay ... right ... I have it now."
Instructor: "... No ... try a little higher."
Me: "Um ... here?"
Instructor: "Not quite."
Me: "Here?"
Instructor: "Eh ..."
Me (a little desperately now): "Here?"
Instructor: "Yep, good. Now you can push in."
But yay for vagina actresses, penis actors! (Really, those are not their official titles.)
Other news: I have not done any real writing except for a few pages for the next TM chapter. Sorry! I've been busy studying for Step 1, rejecting friends' fun summer plans, taking practice exams, then freaking out and postponing the date ... rinse and repeat. Haha, so I'm still studying, holed up in my room in this sweltering heat, but I will be taking a day off next week to finally see the last Harry Potter film with friends. We wanted to go later to avoid the mad rush and the kids. I don't think I've actually seen all of the HP films and I haven't particularly rated the earlier movies as must sees even though I think they were pretty good family fun movies - but I liked Deathly Hallows Part 1 and this is the last HP movie ever and just the idea of this being the last production together before the cast finally leaves these film sets they grew up on ... sadface! Plus, this being the epic conclusion with Hogwarts going down in flames and so. many. deaths. ... sadbawlingface.
Anyway, I thought this blog needed a long overdue update since it's been a while since I posted. I am still alive and once again, thank you all for your patience and support.
Wow! That little Gyn and GU session sounded really interesting... not to say that I would ever be able to do it. But I guess that's why I ultimately chose an area in medicine where I don't have to have contact with patients aside from sucking their blood into little tubes and assuring them that there's still plenty left in their bodies to survive.
ReplyDeleteI would have thought that the women would be more embarrassed, but then again, women do concern themselves more with their reproductive health or any part of their health for that matter. And men would have nothing to do with even thinking about their GU type health going bad. It's great that you had fun instructors to help you through it, since it must have been a little awkward for some of the students as well.
I don't think I ever get tired of reading your blog posts; they're little anecdotes written with such detail that I can just see exactly what's going on. And yes, I've always wondered how much these people get paid as well and hope that they get a lot of money for volunteering their bodies for education. When I was going to school, I'd heard about the Physician's Assistants having to practice Pap smears on some paid "actresses". My Hematology professor told me that way back when, a long time ago, the female PA students had to be the practice patients and that sometimes there were only two or three girls in the entire class. Yikes! Fortunately, now they hire people to do the part, but I never found out what kind of people were hired for the practice Pap smears.
Anyway, take your time writing the next chapter. I look forward to it whenever you get it done.
Here's posting to you in the wee hours of the third shift night during my quick break from work.
This was a great update and hopefully we'll all get to hear from you again soon.
I've been a lurker for quite some time, but I've always loved your med school stories and find them hilarious, although, I must point out that you mean "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed."
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I wanted to tell you that I'm in a blogging competition (Blogger Idol), and this week's assignment is to review some blogs we really enjoy reading. I'm giving you a shout-out, so if you'd like to read the review, click the link below on Wednesday at noon CST.
http://writersarethenewrockstars.blogspot.com
Thanks again for writing such a great blog!
Chess
anicheung: Haha, the GU instructor is a nurse and he told us how back in the days when he was training, he was the only male in the class and they were supposed to practice with each other. No girls wanted to let him practice. He wished he had this course when he was training. Thanks for the great comment and I hope you're still having a good time with the blood sucking field. :)
ReplyDeleteChess: Whoops, thanks so much for pointing that out! I didn't even realize I was writing circumscribed instead. Can't believe I made the same mistake so many times too - embarrassingx3 haha.
Wow, best wishes for Blogger Idol! That sounds awesome and I feel extremely honored to be mentioned in your upcoming review post. I'll be sure to check it out. Thanks and good luck in the competition!