For Everything Else, There's Mastercard

Course director sent out a page of recommended tools we should purchase for our physical diagnosis course:

Littmann Cardio III Stethoscope: ~$150
Ophthalmoscope/Otoscope: ~$600
Sphygmomanometer: ~$150
Reflex Hammer: ~$10
Tuning Forks (128 and 512 Hz): ~ $14 each
Penlights: $5
Case Studies Workbook: $26
Textbook: $80

The Medical Diagnostic Experience: Priceless ... my ass.

If you are super close with any sad, poor medical students or you just really pity them sad, sad souls and/or want them to love you for life, gift them with a really good stethoscope. Adoration. For life.

Medical Bag: $ eff that, I'm wrapping this up in a plastic garbage bag and calling it a day. (Half joking.)

While waiting for our physical diagnosis preceptor to come for our session on vitals (it got so late, we joked that this really felt like a real medical office), we started chatting about movies.

One girl said she was going to see Black Swan which most of the group said was a really good movie. From there, we talked about Natalie Portman's pregnancy and from there, we talked about how she was going to be in this new movie with Ashton Kutcher.



We agreed it looked like a pretty bad movie.

One person laughed, "Friendship has its benefits. Yah, sure, right."

From there, we started talking about all the random movie trailers we've seen. Apparently, a lot of us enjoy watching trailers and not, you know, the actual movies themselves. Since classes had recently picked up, I'm assuming this is due to a decrease in free time to actually go sit through a two hour movie at the theaters when we can just squat at home with our textbooks and speculate happily over a two minute clip during procrastination breaks. Whatever the reason, yes, this still sounds pretty pathetic.

Anyway, one girl, half choking on a laugh, suddenly brought up: "Oh my gosh ... Gnomeo and Juliet."

The conversation tripped and we all gave her this quizzical look. I was pretty sure I must have misheard and was trying to decide if I should ask her to repeat or if I should just pretend to know what she was talking about and nod.

The girl seemed to realize we had no clue what she was talking about though and enlightened us: "Basically ... Romeo is a gnome."

Never in the world had I imagined I would ever hear that. So ridiculous, it was hilarious.

When we were done laughing:

"What? For real?"

Another girl: "I would think Juliet would rather die than be with a gnome though."

"They're all gnomes!"

"Oh man ... I'm sorry for Shakespeare."

Gnomeo & Juliet? Surely, this is one of those cases when someone (perhaps with the helpful aid of some mind-altering substance) comes up with the title first and then writes out a whole screenplay just for it. Because otherwise, the other scenario would mean that someone one day decided that a gnome story would be cute and since gnomes make people naturally think of Shakespeare and gnomefied witches for Macbeth would just be way too creepy, an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet would be ideal and even better, ooh, they can call it Gnomeo and Juliet ... yeah, I don't know, maybe if there were also some mind-altering substances in play here.

So I had to check out the trailer. And well ... it seems charming enough for kids and there's the Shrek 2 director and James McAvoy! (though sadly, he is gnomefied and I don't dig bearded gnomes even with the James McAvoy! voice), though I'm assuming this won't be a true adaptation of the classic what with the ... gnomes ... and probably no tragedy in the end because how exactly do you kill gnomes?

I'd like to know because garden gnomes kinda freak me out.